Deck the Halls!

We had a great time getting ready for Christmas yesterday! Isaac just started crawling this past week so he was into everything! The look on his face when I turned on the first string of lights was priceless!







Can't wait till Christmas morning with this sweet baby!

Who, ME?

About a month ago, Kim Kargbo emailed me about volunteering part time for Women of Hope International. They needed someone to commit to doing their administrative assistant work and help keep them organized.
WOHI is a mission organization started by two incredible women, Kim and Kelsey Martin. Its purpose is to minister to women in Sierra Leonean who have disabilities.
That being said, although I gave both of them the thumbs up for their willingness to give up everything for the sake of the gospel and its power to transform the lives of the women of Sierra Leone... I sure as hell (and I mean hell) did not see this being what God was calling me to do.

So I did the right thing, I lied and said I'd "prayerfully consider."

Now I must insert a prequel to my story so you can better understand my hesitation. Ever since Isaac was six weeks old, I've been keeping an eye out for different part-time work. I had some experience cleaning (being type-A, anal retentive, obsessive compulsive about cleanliness being my main recommendation) and thought maybe I could clean a couple of houses a week. Not too time consuming, but certainly a small form of income. I hadn't made much effort in this area, but was keeping my eyes and ears open for any at-home part-time job opportunities. This being in the back of my mind, I just knew God wanted me to contribute to the house-hold income in some way. I was simply waiting for the right scenario to present itself.

A week after receiving Kim's email, having successfully avoided any real time with God by offering up light, non-committal prayers here and there, I felt an urging in my heart to do what I had said I would do. Pray. I sat down to do so thinking, "well at least I already know the answer to this one. No harm in keeping a promise."

As soon as I lifted up my obligatory prayer, I heard the Holy Spirit say, "have I ever let you starve? Have you not always had a roof over your head, clothes to wear, food to eat? Stop being so doubtful of my goodness and reluctant to serve. I do and will provide for you and your family, whether or not you are generating income!"

Well, I had my answer.

After repenting of my cowardice I emailed Kim and told her after much prayerful consideration, I had decided to accept her offer and would love to be a part of WOHI.

I am two weeks in now and can't be more thankful for the blessing and privilege it has been to be a part of this ministry. God is using it in my personal life in more ways than I would have ever been able to foresee (surprise). Seeing Him use Kim and Kelsey's passion for the Sierra Leonean women for His glory is both encouraging and convicting. We constantly get to witness His provision and movement as He uses weak vessels for His glory. A small and unexpected bonus is that Isaac is a much happier baby when he gets to be around other people during the day. (What a little extrovert!)

If you want to read more about what God is doing through Women of Hope, Int., check out their website: http://www.womenofhopeinternational.org/

Delight

I was having a sweet moment with Isaac earlier today. Once a week or so, he lays still and will let me cuddle with him. I was holding him, thanking God for the blessing he is. Overwhelmed by my love for him, I was thinking about the gift he is, what joy he has brought to our family, how much I love watching him grow and change every day.

What new insight into God's love for us, His children. My love for Isaac is a life-changing thing. I feel as if I could move a mountain, stop a train or die a thousand painful deaths if summoned to the challenge. Although I feel as if I could do these things, I obviously cannot. My imperfect love pales in comparison to that of our Heavenly Father for us!

Its was an incredible thing for me to step back and think on the love of God for His children in these terms. If my parental love for Isaac is this moving, how much more so is the perfect love of our Heavenly Father? As I gaze on my son with sheer delight at his very existence, how much more so does He gaze on us with the Delight of Heaven?

I love Zephaniah 3:17:

"The Lord your God is with you,
he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing."

Don't let the familiarity of this verse allow it to leave you unmoved!

One of my favorite hymns and one I hope Isaac will grow up knowing every word of is "How Deep The Father's Love For Us."

How deep the Father's love for us,
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss,
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One,
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice,
Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom

Obsession

I can't lie... I'm obsessed with this child...






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We went outside after Daddy got home from work one day so he could take some pictures of little man in his tie-shirt. MY Daddy came over and tried to give scratchy kisses which were quite decidedly turned down.

We are enjoying the cooler temperatures. Too bad fall didn't seem to get here till it was almost time for winter.

Oh Thou Elusive...

Sleeping has never been my strong suit. With the onset of motherhood, my relationship with sleep has changed. Isaac's ability to (sometimes) sleep through the night has brought some relief... but I still find myself awake at 5:00 a.m., waiting for a cry to stir me from my cozy bed.
It is strange how a few weeks awake every 2 to 3 hours will alter you perspective on the amount of sleep you need. Before Isaac was born, I believed I required eight hours a night and at least one nap on the weekend. Now I know I can make it with 4-5 hours and an occasional nap while he naps.

I find myself daydreaming about a Saturday holed up in bed, not leaving my retreat except to brew coffee and stock up on books.

I'm am beginning to wonder if the hardest part comes first (waking every 2 to 3 hours) so that you know, when the self-pity starts to set in: today is not the worst-I have been more tired than this!
There are many evenings when I'm tempted to be anxious about the amount of sleep I may or may not get. I love this puritan prayer from The Valley of Vision, a collection of prayers:

Blessed Creator,

Thou hast promised thy beloved sleep;
Give me restoring rest needful for tomorrow’s toil;
If dreams be mine, let them not be tinged with evil.
Let thy Spirit make my time of repose a blessed temple of his holy presence.

May my frequent lying down make me familiar with death,
the bed I approach remind me of the grave,
the eyes I now close picture to me their final closing.
Keep me always ready, waiting for admittance to thy presence.
Weaken my attachment to earthly things.
May I hold life loosely in my hand,
knowing that I receive it on condition of its surrender;

As pain and suffering betoken transitory health,
may I not shrink from a death that introduces me
to the freshness of eternal youth.
I retire this night in full assurance of one day awaking with thee.
All glory for this precious hope,
for the gospel of grace,
for thine unspeakable gift of Jesus,
for the fellowship of the Trinity.
Withhold not thy mercies in the night season;
thy hand never wearies,
thy power needs no repose,
thine eye never sleeps.

Help me when I helpless lie,
when my conscience accuses me of sin,
when my mind is harassed by foreboding thoughts,
when my eyes are held awake by personal anxieties.
Show thyself to me as the God of all grace,
love and power;
thou hast a balm for every wound,
a solace for all anguish,
a remedy for every pain,
a peace for all disquietude.
Permit me to commit myself to thee
awake or asleep.