Mosquitoes have plagued me every year of my life from April to September. I get told I have sweet blood. I think this is just a nice way of telling me a nasty pesky ugly bug wants to suck my blood.
Here's the problem. There are actually several. Some are vain, some are apparently genetic and some are just irritating.
First of all, I must clarify that as an adult I have become comfortable in my see-through toned skin. God gave it to me and He also gave me a husband that thinks its beautiful. That's all that matters. BUT, the problem is that when my legs must show in the summer, these pasty limbs are usually covered in: bruises (I am painfully clumsy and usually slightly anemic), cuts (see aforementioned explanation) and--mosquito bites. I think by June I usually have, on average, about 20. Per leg. So, bruise, scratch and mosquito covered legs = hatred of shorts.
This leads into my second problem. I actually didn't know I had this problem until I married Josh. Isn't it GREAT how God uses marriage to point out unpleasant truths about ourselves we otherwise may have never known? (If you didn't hear the sarcasm in my tone, re-read my last sentence with your best sarcastic mental voice) Josh told me one day as I scratched a bite on my knee not to worry, it'd be gone tomorrow. I stopped scratching to look at him with my best -what the heck are you talking about?- face while informing him since I'd just gotten it three days before, I knew it'd be at least two more weeks till it started to fade away. He stared. Then accused me of exaggerating. I stared back. What in the world? He informed me his mosquito bites lasted exactly three hours. Three hours? Was he superhuman?? No. This was a lie. A boldfaced lie. I was sure of it. He had never lied to me before, but this was impossible.
I ate my words. Sure enough, a couple of days later, I watched as a hungry little bug landed on his arm, took a drink and flew off. The biggest, nastiest red bump popped up soon after while he scratched away. Three hours later? The itchy spot had vanished!! What water had I been drinking? My whole sense of reality had been shaken to the core.
Really, these are the only two complaints I can, with some justification, elaborate on. The rest are almost too common to mention. The itching, the burning, the possibility of scarring... you, dear reader, must already be very familiar with.
Well, I shouldn't mindlessly complain. It is my goal to plant eucalyptus all around our backyard area to ward off these little chomping toots. Of course, I had the same intentions last summer.
For anyone who might still think I'm talking about vampires:
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Got it??
