For awhile now I've been sitting here, high upon my horse, smirking and scoffing at all the lack of discretion used by some of my fellow facebookers. I've been promising my friends and myself that I would soon be publishing a manual for this great social networking tool to help us all network better.
The many great freedoms of social networking give us just that - freedom. To say as we please, create an image of ourselves based entirely upon personal whim, and post whatever pictures, links and videos our hearts desire. This freedom has produced a new generation of mass communicators. Whether or not we entirely agree with the changes myspace, facebook and twitter have wrought, those changes are here to stay.
Throughout the ages, in any social setting, there have been rules of etiquette followed. Before you roll your eyes as articles from "Miss Manners" pop into your head, bringing with it images of your grandmother's fine china, hear me out:
It is a common sign of cordiality to shake someone's hand when introduced. Now, you may choose to slap their face instead, but you more than likely will not retain any lasting friendship with this unfortunate person and neither would you expect to do so.
This, by no means, is an exhaustive resource for proper social networking etiquette. It is simply a collections of observations on the many faux pas commonly committed by us social networkers in this relatively new community we find ourselves a part of, and how and why to avoid them.
1) Do not share someone else's personal information unless given permission by said person.Seems obvious, right? I call and tell you I'm expecting. 'Don't tell anyone, we just found out!' Don't post that your best friend, Sally is gonna be a mommy. Saying that you're gonna be an aunt doesn't count for secrecy. Even if you have two sisters-in-law, you've pretty much narrowed down a juicy piece of gossip for the rest of facebook to hash over. (And pissed off your favorite sister)
2) Facebook is not your psychologist's couch. Save your self-piteous, fuming diatribe on his cheating ways for your three best friends who care.
3) Do not comment on a break-up, end of an engagement or divorce.Now really? We've all been around long enough to know you can "x" this tid-bit from your news feed and save yourself the embarrassment. Would you stand up in the middle of a group of all your friends, family , acquaintances, co-workers, friend's friends and shout, "Mark and I just ended our relationship!!" right after breaking up? Unless you have clinical need for attention, probably not. Heads up - announcing it on facebook is the same thing.
Now really?? (#2) If your friend, brother or best friend's cousin either forgets to erase their change in relationship status update or just enjoys the attention... do not comment. Don't do it! Would you run through a room of all your friends, family , acquaintances, co-workers, friend's friends (& more than likely, the ex) to get to your newly singled, possibly devastated friend yelling, "OH MY GOSH WHAT HAPPENED?" Unless you were drunk, probably not. Don't do it.
4) Mushy conversations between you and your significant other are irritating to everyone else.Most people turn away if their friend & significant other choose to have a "moment" in front of them. Its just a little yucky to watch another person kiss and whisper sweet nothin's in front of you. While not really a faux pas, if you decide to post something sugary sweet on your special someone's wall - be prepared to be ridiculed. No one else wants to read it and once again, if you put it on Facebook, it is for everyone to see. (Just a reminder: there are always messages, emails, phone calls and texts.)
5)Do not talk about work on Facebook.There are some possible exceptions to this rule, but for the most part - following it is a fail-safe. Don't talk about your annoying manager, lazy co-worker, stupid report due or long, boring afternoon. In short, don't complain. Do not give your boss any reason to doubt your indispensability. These are hard times and someone else wants your job!!
6) Don't talk about your private parts, detail your post-birth body functions, other bodily functions or someone else's bodily functions.No further elaboration necessary.
And finally:
7) Don't make Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, or any other social networking tool your main source of communication with your family and closest friends. It easy to spend a lot of time on Facebook. Make sure you're spending time with the people who's statuses you comment on, pictures you look at, walls you post to. If you don't, you may wake up one day to find that your computer (or smart phone) has become your best friend.
post scriptum There is a possibility of more to come. For now, you've been warned. If you are reading this asking, "who is this stuck-up priss to tell me how to network?" Please continue with your unpolished ways. It gives the rest of us something to talk about.
